I Shouldn't Have Opened My Eyes
by Xara-Vodka and Donuts
Summary: Vash and Wolfwood spend a night in a hotel room together-but Vash wakes up alone the next morning. The story's first chapter deals with Vash's thoughts on the evening, the second on a guilty Wolfwood. Trigun Characters oozing angst-what could be better? R
1. Vash's Peril

I Shouldn't Have Opened My Eyes-By Xara

I Shouldn't Have Opened My Eyes-By Xara Chapter 1: Vash's Peril 

** **

**Disclaimer:**

Unfortunatly, I don't own any of these people. If I did, the world would be my oyster, and I would be happy. But I'm happy enough just writing about Vash and Wolfwood doing yummy happy things.

I would like to apologise for making Wolfwood out to be a bastard in this fic. Really, I love him, although he's acting like a total bastard. 

This wasn't beta-d so it may have errors; also due to the fact it was written when I was drunk and tired. I'm gonna take up drinking full time if this gets good reviews *_^ just kidding…^^

Review and Vash'll shower you with kisses. Don't and may Vash shoot you with the Angel Arm.

**Rating:** PG-13 coz I think that's what it is. There's reference to sex…

**Email:** [vodka.and.donuts@badgirl.co.jp][1] ßmail me! I love mail!

Shit, I cant take much more of this. I thought you were supposed to be one of those super compassionate religious priest men. But waking up three hours ago to rumpled sheets, a sweaty body, bruised lips and love bites, put me in an instantaneous euphoria, endorphins conjuring up visions of last night that made me shudder with renewed lust. I should have kept my eyes closed in the memories. I could smell the foul odour of your cigarettes, mingled with your delicious flavour still lingering in the air, on my lips, seemingly everywhere in my tiny, happy world. I thought something had finally happened, thought that my world was the thing id always wanted.

I should never have opened my eyes. I could have happily lived in the land of memories, lying in the bed where you and I slept and gave in to each other, instead of living in a world of self doubt and loathing, thinking that I was so hideous, you must have woken up and been repulsed. There are no small voices to reassure me, only your voice, like a scratched record, whispering to me sweet nothings and beautiful everythings, words of love and desire, of lust and happiness.

Why, when I finally opened my eyes, had you gone? Only the smell of you, soft and musky, and the impressions I could feel against my body, all in the mind but all so real. 

Was I repulsive? Was I bad? Was I wrong to want you and act on it? For what I remember, you were the one who started things, always dominant, like an ever-tender teacher, with me as your bumbling willing student. Oh god, was I too eager? 

My god, did you feel anything? Was that all I was, all I am? Just a little fuck toy to screw when times get bad? A stress ball you can finger and squeeze when you get bored?

Dammit, I'm standing here in the room, totally lost in my head. Don't you realise I love you? I can't be sure you do, even less sure whether or not it would make a difference. Stupid sexy priest, I thought you were more than that.

I wish I knew the reason you left. I lost all hope you were coming back to me an hour ago, when I saw your bike gone.

Bastard. 

Did you think the fact that I'm a wanted man would influence how I feel. Or did it influence how you thought? Are you so shallow, that you'd rather be Millie's _anata _than mine? Great, now I'm crying, would you come back if you could see me?

I should never have opened my eyes.

~*OWARI*~

   [1]: mailto:vodka.and.donuts@badgirl.co.jp



	2. Wolfwood's Prayer

I Shouldn't Have Opened My Eyes

I Shouldn't Have Opened My Eyes 

**Chapter 2: Wolfwood's Prayer**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it. Wish I did, but I don't. Please review. If you do, Vash can stay with Wolfwood. If you don't, I'll take Wolf away and give him to my friend. And then Vash'll come after you with the Angel Arm again.

**Email:** [vodka.and.donuts@badgirl.co.jp][1]

**Rating: **PG-13

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Last night I indulged in pleasures. That alone is not a problem, for personally I don't believe priests should be celibate, and frequently bed anything that will stay still long enough.

I took something that wasn't mine. 

I stole his heart.

I'm a priest, father, I cant carry too much baggage. I couldn't bear to see his face when I woke up, my mind was whirling from ecstatic memories. So confused, I left, never to return. 

But now I want him. A hungry, angry, wanton want, like the air I breathe, I want him, a primeval lust to feel needed, there to stop humans from jumping off cliffs. But I also feel guilty and unhappy, like someone's cut off a limb. I need him to exist, father, that's plain and simple. Really, that's all there is to it. I want to wake up in his arms, feel loved like all earthly men should.

I don't know why I'm staying away. I've admitted that I love him, and don't they say that love is the key to all locks? There is no truth to these old sayings, or maybe they don't take account for pride. Like women often complain, men are bastards. I am the total personification of men.

I'm sitting at a bar, trying to drown reoccurring conscious flashbacks of our night together, drowning the signal in alcohol and a few boxes of smokes. His face wont leave my vision, so, like a true priest, ive turned to you, God. There is no one outside my portable confessional, no one to hear my plight but you. He was sweet and eager, so sweet. Everything I never knew I wanted, gone in an outburst of pride.

Forgive me my sins

Amen

~*OWARI*~

You liked it? Then the blue box below is about to become your best friend.

****

   [1]: mailto:vodka.and.donuts@badgirl.co.jp



End file.
